A few months ago, I met an old friend for dinner. The moment we sat down across from each other, she began to tell me what’s been transpiring in her life. My friend had been agonizing about something in her life for a few years now, and I was encouraging her to make some personal changes and see the bigger picture. She wasn’t able to see clearly since she was too focused on controlling everything and everybody involved.
The more I tried to tell her to surrender all desire to control, her anxiety increased; this was the exact opposite of what I intended. After a few stern glances my way, I knew she wanted me to keep quiet and listen.
I sat there reading her facial expressions and gave her the opportunity to be heard. Whenever she asked a question, I simply reassured her I understood, leaving my opinion out of it.
I realized she had to go through the angst and frustration she was feeling. She had to gather all the information and decide what she believed was best for her, not what I would’ve done if I was in her shoes. It wasn’t easy seeing her go through so many emotions in one short time, but this is her path, not mine.
At the end of our meal, I hugged her and prayed that she received the clarity and ultimately the resolution she was seeking. I encouraged her to reach out to me if she needed someone to vent.
I reached out to her during the holidays. In those few minutes, she confirmed nothing has changed.
I have not heard from her since.